Burj Al Arab Closing for a Major Refurb

After launching in 1999 and effectively awarding itself six stars, the Burj Al Arab has finally decided it’s time for a refresh. Like getting bangs, Botox, a Porsche, or joining OnlyFans. Whatever it is one does when approaching a quarter-life crisis. Lovely timing too, with sunsets now occasionally interrupted by missiles.

The refurb is long overdue. There are hotels that age gracefully, and there are hotels that look like they were decorated after someone robbed both Fort Knox and the Dollar Store on the same day, while on crack. Burj has always proudly been the latter.

This is one of the most famous hotels in the world, and to its credit, it has never shown the slightest interest in subtlety.  I cannot even imagine what the design brief was.  Simply “more”?  Gold everywhere.  Colours arguing with each other.  Carpets that looked like they’d been commissioned in a Grimm Brothers fairytale.  And, of course, those legendary mirrors on the ceiling.  My sincere hope is they keep the mirrors. Better yet, expand the concept. I want to see myself in full 360-degree glory as I take a dump, ideally on a Japanese toilet. That, to me, is progress.

For years, the Burj Al Arab has occupied a strange and successful place in luxury travel. Equal parts icon, tourist attraction, time capsule, hotel, and gold-plated psychosis, it never needed to be subtle. It just needed to be unmistakable. The challenge now is updating a property built for late-90s excess without removing the personality that made it famous in the first place.

I do not want another Four Seasons style property.  For everything I might say about this place, I rather enjoy how utterly, proudly over the top it is.  We actually considered returning for the third time during our last visit to Dubai in February.  But it is warn out.  And Jumeirah has better properties – including one right next door at Marsa al Arab, which used Tristan Auer, the same interior designer now being used for the Burj.

Here’s hoping for a good relaunch.