Dorsia 2024 summary

Here we go.  It’s that time of the year when we look back and reflect on what amazing things we all did together, through the thick and the thin, and rejoice that all the world’s problems are now solved through the collective power of luxury travel.  This is my year in summary.

Botswana

I kicked off the year in Botswana, determined to give Mombo another shot.  But what truly blew me away was Jao.  That place is epic.  Just thinking about it makes me smile—even though I was ill for most of my stay.  If you’re smiling now, congratulations, you’re laughing at a sick man.  Shame on you.

Next, it was over to Duba Plains, where I saw a crocodile eat a python, before going to their newly launched Sitatunga Private Island, where I saw something even more shocking: Great Plains now knows how to design lodges.

London

London is now home to more hotels than people on earth.  When new children are born they are given a birth certificate and a new hotel in London.  We started off at the newly opened Peninsula, which opened to much fanfare, but not much pleasure.  Next came Raffles London, a brand I consider to be somewhere in between trying to open a package and finding it’s hermetically sealed for eternity and stubbing your toe.  Somehow, superb did not come close to describing this property.  It’s the only property this year we have visited twice this year – or will, cos I’m writing this just prior to going back.  Hopefully they don’t screw it all up, I really don’t want to come and edit this again.

Another great addition to London is The Emory, an all-suite property in Knightsbridge, which is attached to its sister hotel, The Berkeley.

And then, finally, there’s the surprising return of The Dorchester.  After years of resembling your nan’s house, it’s undergone a major refurb, luring me back after a 15-year hiatus.  I actually enjoyed it, particularly the newly revamped spa across the road.  But reviewing it in detail?  Too much work, and, frankly, you’re not paying me enough for that level of intel.

This marked the first year in nearly 15 years that I have not stayed at The Connaught.

Mexico

Then came Mexico, my second visit in recent years.  A number of hotels are featured on the usual “Top 50 Hotels” lists, with some better than others.  We started at Belmond Maroma, which is the first blueprint for a Belmond refurb after their LVMH acquisition.  The property is clearly Belmond, on a very high level.  Definitely not perfect, but a great location and a decent offering, assuming you can overcome the sargassum that builds up in this part of the world.  It’s also present in Hotel Esencia, which was a very charming property, but failed in too many areas to make it a place I’m that keen on recommending.  We then made our way to Four Seasons Tamarindo, the one-of-a-kind Cuixmala and finished over at the cruise ship-on-land that is Four Seasons Punta Mita and the rather excellent One&Only Mandarina.

St. Barths and Anguilla

Flying back West, I visited St. Barths and Anguilla for the first time.  All my beliefs around poor service in the Caribbean were proven wrong by St. Barths, only for Anguilla to make all my prejudices come true again.  I get why this small island is so popular, even if none of the hotels were truly world class.  But the island, with the ability to get around so easily, and plenty of opportunities for excellent dining, fine beaches and shopping, makes it an ideal spot.  Just not really for children.  It was here we tried Eden Rock, easily the best of the bunch, Cheval Blanc St Barths, that seems to masquerade as a Cheval Blanc, Le Barthelemy that seems to masquerade as a floating turd, and Le Toiny which did the best it could given the location.  Belmond Cap Juluca was the highlight of the stay.  Not the service, that was what I expected, but that beach and the food to go with it was excellent.

Greece

After all the hype surrounding One&Only Kea Island and its much-anticipated August 2023 opening, they suddenly decided to push the date to May 2024.  Then, realising that wasn’t working out either, they opened early—and started offering free stays to guests as a sort of apology for the chaos.  Happy days, you might think.

I’m still torn about this property, which was originally meant to be an Aman.  Clearly, a fortune was spent on it, but as one reader perfectly put it, it looks less like a luxury escape and more like it’s preparing to fend off the Normandy invasion.

We also visited One&Only Aesthesis, which is in Athens, but not really, and The Danai.  Which has an interior designer who must have been born on the same planet as Edgar the Bug from Men in Black.  Still, it was quite charming.

South Africa

I then popped over to South Africa, which was really to see the refurbished Singita Ebony.  I only added Waterside Lodge as I didn’t fancy flying halfway around the world just to try the one property, and it ended up being the better of the two.  Truly an excellent property, just let down by the location.  Which is kinda what the purpose of safari is, so gotta pick which one you’re keener on: luxury or animals.

Seychelles

Continuing the theme of surprises, we tried Waldorf Astoria Platte Island, which was surprisingly good.  Yes, a bit concretey in places and nowhere near the best beach you’ll ever see, but very much an excellent hard product, backed up by a great soft one.  It was much better than the tired looking Four Seasons Desroches and Four Seasons Mahe.  But the real winner was the exclusive use, nine bedroom La Cigale.

Madagascar….and Lake Como

The perfect combo, I’m sure we all agree.  It was time to give Miavana another go, after seven years since they opened surely they would get it right now?  And for almost all instances, yes they did.  A place I’m now happy to recommend.  I then invited myself to Passalacqua, apparently the best hotel in the world, only to discover, to everyone’s shock, that it was not.  But it’s still pretty special.

Maasai Mara

Bloodbaths galore.  River crossings, hunts, pure chaos.  I stayed at Great Plains’ Mara Nyika, Mara Toto, and the exceptional Mara Plains.  All within 45 minutes of each other, but each with its pros and cons.  Except Mara Plains, which was just flat-out excellent—aside from the food.

Kenya and Rwanda

Yes, I left Kenya, then returned weeks later.  Don’t ever accuse me of using logic.  Highlights included the superb Wild Hill, the even more superb Arijiju, and them wondered what happened to Singita over in their private villa, Kataza House.  Still, gorillas.  They make up for everything.

Philadelphia and Antwerp

Sure, none of what I do makes sense.  That’s why I once again returned to Four Seasons Philadelphia and got to watch the Eagles crush Washington.  We then travelled to Belgium to see some friends in Antwerp at the surprisingly excellent Botanic Sanctuary.

Maldives

And finally, because you’ll never escape the Maldives on this blog, I tackled the last remaining luxury holdout: Gili Lankanfushi.  I’ve flown over it so many times that I didn’t need a tour when getting to the island.  Unsurprisingly, it was exactly as I expected, which is to say it ain’t gonna be joining our “Best of Maldives” list anytime soon.

We also revisited Soneva Jani, a property I once disliked so much I turned “Janing” into a verb for enduring misery.  Think getting your wiener stuck in your fly like There’s Something About Mary.  Turns out it’s much better now.  Not as good as their new property, Soneva Secret, though.  Obligatory returns to Cheval Blanc Randheli and Velaa rounded things out.  Both were, as usual, in fine form.

Conclusion

When visiting these properties, I always ask myself two questions: “What do I like?” and “What would our clients like?” Properties like Hotel Esencia stand out because whilst it didn’t do it for me, I know others who would enjoy it.  But others like The Danai are more the other way around: very hard to recommend, yet we really enjoyed it.  But that’s why travel agents earn the big bucks – we have to make the life-changing decisions that few can.  It goes travel agents, doctors, and those scientists in movies who somehow know the answer but no one will listen to them.

There were definitely more hits than misses this year, and overall, I can be proud that I have contributed to the final stage of evolution for mankind and will be celebrated for millennia.