“The phrase “five-star luxury accommodation” does not do justice to The Homestead. It will be, quite simply, the best safari lodge in South Africa, if not the world.”

Taken from The Homestead’s own website this has got to be amongst the greatest setups for a punch-line.  I’m not religious, but I will be praying for the inevitable lawsuit from an American, and you know it will be an American, when it’s only their second favourite lodge.

The arrogance of it is brilliant.  Yet I’m on their side; you go, Homestead, you wonderful bastard, you.  Your peacocking should be awarded.  You’re the perfect example of a child never being told no.  You’re the guy that tries to get into a fight with Tyson Fury, then runs to security, stands behind them and claims you would have won if they didn’t get in the way.  I’m hoping there’s some satire in there that’s just too deep for me to understand, like a colloquialism that only a South African would tip their hat to.  Regardless, who doesn’t love to see something so brazen that will blow up in their face?  I’ve already got the popcorn ready and they’re not meant to open for another few months.  My commitment is so strong I’m prepared to go obese for this role.

I was struggling to think of another example so magnificent, except perhaps Miavana opening at $5,000/n and describing themselves as a private island (they’re not) and their world-class spa (that didn’t exist).  They held the crown until Kisawa said “hold my beer in a Baccarat glass” by opening at €6,000/n and uninviting all the travel writers.  Sometimes no words is the best hype of them all.

Anyone got any other great examples?  

Tom Cahalan

Written by Tom Cahalan

Dorsia Travel’s co-founder Tom Cahalan’s take on travel is reliably candid. Here’s his take on what’s good, bad, and luxurious.

More About Tom