Review: Laba Grumeti Art Lodge

Laba feels like one of those names that’s come from nowhere and suddenly everyone is talking about it.  Like pickleball.  Or Epstein Island.  It’s supercharged its way into the spotlight, with the entire human race creaming their pants over Fanjove Island, which I’m legally obliged to point out is not similar to that other island and has never been raided.  But Laba Grumeti Art Lodge was the one that really put them on the map.  This property managed to turn heads, and not in a car crash kinda way.  Let’s see.

Getting There

For reasons that make no sense and I have decided not to pursue, I had to fly here from Singita Sasakwa – a 15-minute flight – as apparently Singita and Laba Laba couldn’t make it work out between themselves, and I’m the poor child who was there to suffer through the divorce.  This lodge borders Singita’s land — we saw one of their vehicles across the road from us — so driving was the logical choice, but I’ll let them settle that one between themselves. Being so close, the wildlife is identical; you just get more cars and fewer liberties.

The airstrip had puddles, and we skidded on landing.  My fellow passenger looked like he was saying his goodbyes.  This is your first hint that you have crossed from Singita’s private concession into a national park, where the roads are noticeably worse, where you need a permit to get in, and where the car park of vehicles on arrival gave me an unwelcome flashback to the Mara.

Then a beautifully set-up vehicle with snacks and a hot drink.  A 30-minute drive to the lodge and staff in Maasai dress waiting to escort me to my room with a spear.  Followed by the full new-lodge welcome ceremony: five minutes standing in one spot while I’m personally introduced to everybody, told an anecdote about a door, talked at rather than to about the lodge, and handed a form to sign.  I could smell the fresh hint of “we don’t know what we’re doing”.

Setting

Laba Laba Art Lodge sits up on a hill in Grumeti, in the western Serengeti, with a view out over the plains that buys it a great deal of goodwill.  Not unlimited goodwill.  But a lot.  It’s a national park, though apparently not the busy part.  Nearby, you’ll find Wilderness, &Beyond and Legendary (or Auberge, or whatever they’re now called), but none of those camps are visible from the property.  In fact, I rarely ever saw another vehicle during my entire stay.  Enjoy it while it lasts, because it won’t.

It opened in July 2025, a detail I could have guessed blindfolded from the welcome ceremony alone, and the nervous feel of the place.  The owners found the hill, decided it was too good to waste, and then went looking for an idea to put on it.  Art, of course.  What, you thought a lodge?  That’s why you’re not a bazillionnaire, you loser.  Yep, a safari lodge conceived around a sculptor.  They put 46 pieces by contemporary African artists, and suddenly we’re staying in art lodges for safari.

You’re in the Grumeti River Valley, on the western corridor route the migration takes heading north, which means May to July and then again from September to November.  No off-roading except in a few low-use zones, and roads that make you nostalgic for the concession you just left.

Accommodation

Eleven rooms and one family suite, split left and right of the main area.  They’re canvas, which means you either hate it, or you’re insane.  The wind gets to decide how you sleep, whilst I like choosing for myself, thank you very much.  At night, with a strong breeze, it initially sounded like someone was breaking in, then like a haunting that wasn’t getting the attention the needy bitch wanted, and eventually like it was fighting for its life.  I don’t know how anyone is supposed to sleep through the noise of canvas flying around everywhere.  Who said safari only gets exciting on the vehicle?  What I mean is: this is why I hate canvas.

Which is a shame, because everything else about these rooms is very nicely done, in a stylish way, some might even say arty.  Sure, they’ve earned their Art Lodge name, right down to the bottle-and-cup-in-one thing beside the bed, which I stared at for longer than I’d like to admit.  The outdoor shower is the most appealing outdoor shower I have ever seen.  The way it opens up, the space it’s given, how good it looks from inside the room.  It’s practically calling to me.  I’m still not using it.

You come in through a covered outdoor living space with a sofa and coffee table, which leads onto a full-width terrace with two loungers and some comfortable chairs, all pointed at the view.  Approaching my room I noticed the privacy screens don’t extend to the loungers, so nobody is sunbathing naked here, which I’m sure is a relief to everyone concerned.  A few rooms also have terraces near the gym, which is a privacy issue they should probably revisit.

Inside it’s open plan, with a single swivel chair next to the bed as your only seating, a desk behind the bed and a decent luggage area.  There’s a wine cabinet with one bottle in it, looking extremely lovely in a space designed for ten.  Loo and shower are separated for privacy and the double vanity area is large and clever.  The copper-style bath looks a touch small.

Few other things.  There were a lot of spiders and ants in my room and I don’t want to be that guy, but I’m being that guy.  Finding a spider in the shower with you warrants at least six months of free therapy, plus an unlimited supply of DOOM insect spray, that you’re allowed to pass down, generation to generation.  And the ceiling fan is positioned very slightly wrong, in a way that allows it to achieve absolutely nothing.  The bathroom light switch, meanwhile, is now competing with Reteti House for the worst placement I have ever encountered.  May as well have put it inside a lion’s mouth, as it’d be more logical.

Facilities

The main area has the restaurant on one side and the lounge and bar on the other, with the infamous canoe-style seats as you come in.  It’s not a small space, but it doesn’t feel spread out, and they don’t help themselves by seating everyone on top of one another.  One group having lunch felt like they’d annexed the place.  There are little pockets behind both the dining area and the bar — a second dining space, a fireplace, a firepit besides the br — that should be doing far more work to make it flow.

The pool, though.  A stunning lap pool hanging over the edge of the cliff.  Not heated, which is criminal, but stunning.

It is a very photogenic place, as you might imagine from somewhere bold enough to call itself an Art Lodge.  And I’m sure some people will hate it, but boo to you, I say.  I feel like the lodge does an excellent job of standing out.  Utilise the space better and it’s an absolute winner.

Spa and Gym

The gym is decent by safari standards, though there’s no air conditioning and it’s only covered by a roof, which makes sense unless you’d like to melt, but does mean you’re fighting flies mid-set.

The spa gets your steps in by being inexplicably a thousand of them away, so you don’t need a sauna, just a walk back after your treatment.  They offer two separate tented rooms, one for couples, another a single treatment room.

Food

They offer a wine list at lunch, which I don’t think I’ve seen anywhere before.  Beyond that they seem allergic to menus and I never saw one.  Lunch arrived family style with no consultation or warning, and was actually excellent — a mango and tomato salad, tilapia, various other salads, and chips, which lowered the tone considerably.  The chef then comes out afterwards to talk you through dinner.  The chef also comes out after every meal to stand there and ask how it was, looking like he knows there’s a rifle trained on him.  Someone, please tell them they can stop.

Afternoon tea is one cake.  That’s it, one cake.  First thing in the morning, before the drive, breakfast is a single type of cookie.  The bush breakfast out on the plains was lovely, although they forgot my potatoes and brought the wrong eggs, but the hash browns were outstanding and I’d forgive most things for those.  They do set a different table for each meal, but you’re always in the same area, always a bit too close to everyone else.

Sundowners on the hill were pleasant, although the coolers have this Molori quality where the fine details have zero sense of luxury.  These are the details they need to get right for everything to match the ambition.

Service

Look, this is a new lodge.  They’re gonna be doing new lodge things.  Like completely ignoring my stay list.  And making all the interactions feel incredibly rehearsed.  And everyone looking like a deer in rearlights, cos they were just run over and the car is reversing over them again just to be sure.  There’s just this sense no one really is sure of anything, even if somehow things do eventually work out.

People come over constantly to ask how I am, which reminds me of Joali and is not a compliment.  On my final night I was interrupted again so someone could explain the gratuity process to me, which is about as low-end as it gets.

Activities

Game drives and walking safaris, that’s your lot.  The joys of a national park, with opening times like a corner shop – open from 6 am until 7 pm.  There are moments where the off-roading restriction is properly annoying, and yet somehow we still got close to nearly everything.  Sometimes the rules are there for you, not me.

Philip guided me, and he’s vastly experienced.  The vehicle is a four-seater in a lovely old style, unique design, and also the loudest safari vehicle I have ever sat in once the cooling kicks in.  It sounded like it was coughing up its own fumes.

But, away with the negatives, let me tell you my biggest surprise:  almost no other vehicles.  On my first morning I’d seen three separate prides, each with a kill.  For one sighting, three lionesses with three very young cubs, and one other car — in the Mara that would have been an absolute shit show.  On my last morning, a failed wildebeest hunt, three lions working it, and we were alone the entire time.  Apparently in June, during the migration, it’s chaos elsewhere, but the cars can’t reach this part of the park before nine, so they arrive, everyone leaves for the lodge, and the afternoon is empty again. It’s funny that two countries on either side of an invisible line can produce such different atmospheres in their best-known parks.  This is far quieter than the Mara, and that will change as more camps open.  Enjoy it now.

In terms of sightings, it was mostly lions and hyenas everywhere.  In fact, my notes say no cheetah or leopard at all, and it would be a bit weird if I lied to myself in my own notes.

There’s no cap on vehicles per sighting, so if it does get busy, the Shit Show will be returning for a new season.  There are also more tsetse flies here than I have ever encountered, and my cankles have the receipts to prove it.  I would like that noted formally in some legal document, waiting for my testimony and legal battle against nature.

Kids Friendly

One family suite.  That’s the extent of it.

The Good

• Remarkably low-vehicle area for a national park
• Views
• Style
• Food
• Value
• Guide

The Bad

• Freaking tents, man.  Give me air con
• Tsetse flies

The Luxurious

• Cliff-edge lap pool

Conclusion

First, the thing I was most sceptical about: a place called an Art Lodge.  Yuck.  My Pretentious Vomit Scale just hit 11.  It sounds insufferable, and yet…it isn’t.  There’s no mandatory art tours or some guy called Sebastian describing the emotional journey of a bowl.  Other than some labels mentioning the art next to things like chairs, which I will allow, you’d probably just think the owners are a bit exuberant.  It’s stylish, it looks great, it works.

Really, then, I’m just saying I’d like the room to be more comfortable, the main area to feel slightly less enclosed, and the whole thing not to be in a national park.  Strip out the mesh, add air conditioning, and these rooms give me everything I could ask for.  And no, there’s no plunge pool.  Plunge pools suck.  Want a proper pool?  Walk fifty metres to the enormous one hanging off the cliff.

The main area isn’t small, it just doesn’t feel spread out, and they don’t help themselves by seating everyone on top of each other.  There are pockets behind the dining area and behind the bar — a second dining space, a fireplace — that should be making the whole thing flow.

Food was good throughout.  I wish they’d asked what I wanted for lunch, but everything that arrived was excellent.  Service: everyone’s shy and inexperienced, and yet there’s nothing to actually complain about.

When somewhere isn’t aiming at ultra-luxury with its pricing, I always find it interesting to see what isn’t there, and the differences can be pretty subtle.  Breakfast being a single type of cookie; one cake at tea; sundowner cutlery that looks nicked from my daughter’s playset; no choice at dinner; nowhere in the main area you can sit and feel properly alone.  But the big one is that the canvas is actively trying to ruin my life.

At this price point, thumbs up.  I keep thinking about Singita Mara River, twice the money, and it’s incomparable, as this is ten times the lodge.  And speaking of Singita, Singita Grumeti shuts for a month every year so the owners can have their jolly, and they do it right in peak season.  When that happens, this is where you go.