Review: Passalacqua, Lake Como, Italy

Passalacqua is the brainchild of a PR agency’s wet dream.  If you’re aiming to have a hotel crowned as the “best in the world,” it needs to tick all the right boxes.  It has to be exclusive—not just difficult to book, but making you feel like one of the chosen few once you’re there.  That means a limited number of rooms, nestled in a highly coveted location – one that journalists can’t resist.  The property should ooze character, ideally with a dash of historical significance, and, most importantly, offer a level of excess.  Not the gaudy excess of Dubai, but the kind that makes you, the guest, marvel at how much effort is poured into something so meticulously crafted for so few.  So, it’s no shocker that this place has racked up awards.  But is it truly the best hotel in the world?  Of course not.  But let’s not rush to grab our “Fake News” placards and storm the capital just yet.

Setting

Despite being just a thirty-minute drive from Milan, it feels worlds away from city life.  You won’t even find anyone screaming at you or attempting vehicular homicide.  All because you’re a pioneer and were driving on the wrong side of the road.  Passalacqua is set in a spectacular location, perched above Lake Como, offering breathtaking views and surrounded by immaculate gardens.  As we approached the property down an unassuming road, the gates opened to reveal a porter ready to assist and the hotel manager casually introducing himself.  Instantly, I was struck by a vibe reminiscent of Villa Feltrinelli—immaculate, exclusive and excessive, but in all the right ways.

The hotel occupies a historic 18th-century villa, originally designed as a private residence, which has been meticulously restored and tastefully modernised.  Terraced gardens cascade down towards the lake, creating a masterpiece of landscape design.  These gardens, featuring centuries-old trees, fragrant rose bushes, and winding pathways, are not only visually stunning but also offer secluded spots to enjoy the tranquil environment.  The estate feels like a hidden paradise, revealing more beauty with every step, from the rose garden to the outdoor cinema, tennis court and even a chicken coop and boules court.

One of the unique features is its proximity to the lake, accessible via a private tunnel that bypasses the nearby road.  These tunnels are so expansive that the Hotel Manager offers guided tours to showcase their impressive scale, which stretches across the entire property.  Few properties like this exist, and they should be cherished.

If I had to nitpick (and you know I do), the sound of cars whizzing by isn’t exactly what I’d call charming.  But what really got under my skin was the sloping terrain—it often felt like more trouble than it was worth to get around.  If you left your kids down by the dock, you might just have to consider starting a new life without them because it’s too much of a trek to go back.  Sure, the elevation gives you those postcard-worthy lake views, but so does an Apple Vision Pro.  Plus, you’re not even right on the lake; your “lakeside experience” is basically two deck chairs at the end of a pier.  It’s hardly the Palace of Versailles down there.

Facilities

Passalacqua has plenty to offer, and it does so with a level of elegance that feels effortless yet undeniably luxurious.  The designers must have been given a blank check and simply told, “Make it beautiful”—with the caveat that they had to respect the original structure.  The result is a property brimming with intricate details, from the carefully restored buildings to the lavish interiors, where no expense was spared.

The pool is the main attraction, pulling in all the guests – and their pets.  Behind it is the Winter Garden, a former greenhouse that has been transformed into an all-day bar.  If you don’t fancy eating inside (although it’s perfectly temperature-controlled), the cafe above offers another ideal spot for lunch or drinks.  Nearby, the rose garden invites you to unwind with loungers.  The gym features both indoor and outdoor equipment, with views over the lake.  The gym, like so much of the property, is housed in a renovated building – once again an old greenhouse.  All these details, all this space, all this for 24 rooms is why this property is so well loved.

You can also enjoy the many rooms at the Villa, which houses a bar, one of the chicest hotel boutiques I’ve ever seen (and I have a personal distaste for hotels feeling the need to include a boutique, but I’ll allow it here), a little library, multiple living areas, and a dining room.  The nearby spa, having opened this year, is perhaps the most impressive, with gorgeous tunnels leading to a sauna, steam room, ice bucket, and experience shower, as well as another indoor pool designed to allow them to stay open for most of the year.

Room

Passalacqua may only offer 24 rooms, but each one is unique and can be found in three distinct areas.  The Villa features 12 grand rooms and suites with ornate, historical decor and lake views.  The Palazz, found behind the Villa, provides a more intimate setting with eight rooms – but a view onto a courtyard or the back of the Villa.  Like starring at the back of someone’s head who’s in a better seat than you at the theatre, and you slowly start to resent their existence.  Casa al Lago offers four bright lakefront rooms with private gardens alllll the way down the bottom of the property.

I stayed in Luna, a Junior Suite al Lago with a Lake View (60 sqm), located in Casa al Lago.  It was fine.  I guess.  No one is going to get offended by it, but if you’re coming with expectations of the best hotel ever (I dunno where you’d get that idea from), you will be disappointed.  Would I recommend a room in this area?  No.  It is too far away from the other facilities, but they make up for it with, once again, excess.  For just four rooms, they include an indoor lounge, covered terrace, outdoor dining area and private gardens.  They’ve even got a receptionist here.  You can enjoy your breakfast without enduring the treacherous, two-minute hike up the hill.  They’ll even offer you a buggy ride to save you from such an ordeal.  But if you’re able-bodied and still take the buggy, prepare to be publicly shamed.

It’s impressive that they’ve packed so much into the Casa al Lago area for just four rooms, but I’d still recommend the Villa for a more authentic experience.  The rooms in Casa al Lago, while beautifully done, felt a bit too much like “been there, done that.” The classic decor had a slightly predictable feel—think red rug, browny-yellow sofa, gold-plated mirror, an old cabinet with floral motifs for the minibar, green cushions on wooden chairs, and quirky pineapple lamps.  It’s not to say it’s ugly or lacks character; it just doesn’t leave the same impression as the grander Villa rooms.  There was a small bookshelf beside the bed and a TV that elegantly rises from a cabinet at the foot of the bed.  Full-length blackout curtains were a welcome touch.  And the bed sheets and mattress were exceptionally comfortable.

I was on my own, so space wasn’t an issue, but even for two people, the room would have been perfectly adequate.  Outside, the room boasted a private balcony with overhead cover, an outdoor table, and two sun chairs overlooking the lake.

The bathroom, cosy, to say the least, featured double vanities and a nice marble design, and there was another guest toilet beside the entrance.  One minor gripe: the master switch didn’t turn off the lamps, which was a bit annoying.  And, at times, the shower had a rather unpleasant smell in the morning, and I’m fairly certain it wasn’t my doing.

Meanwhile, my friends were staying in the Villa, where they enjoyed a much more impressive room with high ceilings, a genuinely historic ambience, and the bright blue lake framed perfectly through the windows.  They also had the convenience of being close to all the facilities, while we peasants down by the lake had a lovely view but had to hike up to get lunch.

Service

Seeing that this is the world’s best hotel of all time, ever, in the history of time, I decided I would not reach out beforehand to see what their pre-arrival process looked like.  They didn’t reach out.  This can only mean one thing: they’re so good they have developed telepathy.  Kudos.  So naturally, that meant there was no such thing as a stay list.  I had to request the usual toothpaste and extra pillows, but they miraculously fluked it by having proper UK plug adapters already in the room.  Telepathy confirmed.

The welcome amenities included two pineapple jellies dusted with sugar, two macaroons, and two signature juices.  Nothing too thrilling.  One juice was green.  My made-up granddad didn’t die in a made-up war so I had to drink green juice.  Who wants green juice as a welcome amenity?  In Italy, no less?  I’d rather have a tiramisu topped with anchovies, followed by a scoop of gelato sprinkled with Parmesan dropped onto a cold plate of bolognese with a cannoli sticking out of the middle, finished with a lovely espresso poured over a pizza.  Come on, Italy, I expected more from you.

The vibe here feels very White Lotus, complete with deeply enthusiastic individuals who seem happy to be there.  Thankfully, I didn’t overhear any schemes involving the gays plotting murder.  The manager who greeted us was a true delight, embodying the joy of hospitality.  Upon returning to our room, I found toys and hats to take home to my children after we briefly talked about our spawn, along with a “to be enjoyed in moderation” bag full of sweets—very thoughtful touches.  The hotel manager was forever around, coming over to chat and make sure everything was okay.

While this isn’t the kind of place where they remember your preferences (the number of times I was offered wine…) or know you by name—which, for such a small property, really shouldn’t be that hard—everyone here is incredibly friendly and eager to help.  Case in point: when I tried to make my own fruit bowl at breakfast, they practically wrestled the spoon out of my hand.  There are some truly wonderful people working here, but that doesn’t make it anywhere close to perfect.

After how lovely everyone had been, I was preparing myself to be truly impressed when I came back to my room at 10 a.m., hoping they had already cleaned it—but they hadn’t.  Nor did they on the final day.  But overall, a solid place built on enthusiasm rather than exceptionalism.  A lot of effort goes in, but the skill isn’t there to deliver the right outcome.  Basically, the same as my writing.

Food

There are two dining options available at Passalacqua, with their fine dining restaurant open exclusively for dinner.  Here’s the downside: while the fine dining experience is polished, it’s nothing groundbreaking or new to me.  If you prefer a more casual setting, you can dine near the bar (indoors or out), but the menu is identical to what’s offered at lunch.  This limited dinner menu, repeating from lunch, felt restrictive—even over just two days.  And none of this was helped by their strange interpretation of a starter; a tuna tataki is barely a mouthful, while ordering the baby roaster could keep you occupied for the better part of a day.

We gave the fine dining a shot on our first night, and unanimously agreed it wasn’t worth a repeat visit.  Like so many restaurants striving for—or already holding—Michelin stars, it seemed to fall short.  It wasn’t that the food was bad; it just didn’t feel worth the effort.  Michelin-star dining, with rare exceptions, often doesn’t live up to the hype.  My last truly impressive experiences were at Midsummer House and Le Sarkara, which gives Michelin-starred restaurants about a 5% success rate in my book.  And here, they don’t even have a star yet, so perhaps they’re trying even harder to impress.

The highlights of that dinner were a salad dish served as an amuse-bouche and a pavlova dessert—both, admittedly, excellent.  But the starter was microscopic, and the main course offered nothing I hadn’t seen before.  And the pavlova wasn’t even my order.  I choose poorly.  The parade of amuse-bouches, pre-desserts, the chef theatrically injecting cream into pastries, and the tower of petit fours at the end clearly indicated they’re gunning for a Michelin star.  Then, to top it off, the chef returns to present a selection of chocolates.

On the bright side, breakfast was a different story.  The buffet spread was impressive, offering cakes, pastries, bread, fruit, salad, cheese, and various other options.  They even brought out a welcome stand with additional pastries.  I love that cakes are considered an acceptable breakfast food here—pastries alone were a treat, but now we’re talking cakes.  Ice cream needs to step up its game!  The buffet was extensive, spilling into two rooms, with French toast being the standout dish.

Speed wasn’t exactly their forte either, but I’m making it sound worse than it was—it was a mix of “okay” and “great,” but this is Italy, and greatness is what we expect.  Excellent breakfast; some solid choices for lunch; don’t bother with the fine dining for dinner.  Top tip: try the beef tartare.  Everyone claims they’ve put a twist on this classic dish, but here, they actually have.  Top marks for presentation and flavour.

They do, of course, have a pizza oven, which is also worth a shout.

The Good

• Extremely charming
• Rooms
• Food
• Service
• Facilities

The Bad

• Whilst there is so much space, everyone naturally crowds around the pool
• The property is sloped down toward the lake, so if you want to be on the lake, it’s not for you, and if you don’t like walking around, it’s not for you, either.

The Luxurious

• Setting
• Spa
• The vast grounds and abundance of places to relax in peace

Conclusion

So, the best hotel in the world?  Of course not.  And they know it too.  You could sense the Hotel Manager’s slight embarrassment as he spoke about winning the award, acknowledging there’s still much more to do.  To be fair, by European standards, Passalacqua is already up there.  Most European resorts are open seasonally, which means relying on young staff—where enthusiasm is plentiful and experience is limited.

The service isn’t flawless, the food isn’t even the best you’ll find around the lake, and then there’s the inevitable influencer, prancing around with her dog, striking a pose for every photo op imaginable.  I can’t believe a hotel this popular would comp a stay in August, so the sad truth is that some people actually make a living doing this.  If the average stay here were longer than a few nights, it would’ve turned into Murder on the Orient Express—with every guest lining up to admit to being the murderer.

But let’s take a moment of silence for my quads.  My personal trainer had already wrecked me the day before, and then I had to navigate the hilly terrain here, hobbling around like ice skating on a volcano.  Sure, the higher elevation offers some lovely lake views, but wouldn’t it be better if the entire property were flat?  Absolutely. Bring in the bulldozers—not just for me, but for the sake of our children’s quads, too.

All that said, if you’re looking for a short, romantic getaway in a stunning location that oozes history, grandeur, and a no-expense-spared vibe, Passalacqua is your gal.