We’re Returning to Asia

I know, I know. You’re all desperate for content that isn’t about Africa.  It’s getting to the point I’ll start writing about all the graffiti in every bathroom stall in O.R. Tambo, as I’ve nothing left to write about.  You want something new.  Something exotic.  Something that doesn’t smell faintly of the stench of a wild dog.

So here it is: we’re going back to Asia for the first time in years.  Real Asia.  Not Japan, which doesn’t count because it’s flawless and deserves its own continent.  And not the Maldives either, which is technically Asia, but in the same way Russia is technically Europe.  And also technically Asia.  Anyway, let’s move on.

Here’s the plan for Easter break: Philippines → Bali → Singapore.

Banwa Private Island

Banwa is tiny – just six villas, fully all-inclusive, and it looks spectacular.  All very nice.  But their “mosquito-free” pledge really tickles my pleasure bone.  I’m definitely keen to explore the authenticity of that statement.  So you could say I’m going in the name of science.  You’re welcome.

I have had this place on my list for so, so long.  I was meant to go during covid before whatever the restriction flavour of the day kicked in, meaning it wasn’t possible.  Even without covid, it is an absolute pain in the arse to get to.  From London: fly via Abu Dhabi, stay overnight, another flight followed by a drive and speedboat.  Just needed a hot air balloon, steam train and Penny-farthing in there to finish the set.  Then you’d see who the true believers are.

It’s not hard to see why it’s taken me five years to get around to staying here.  Now my children are 5 and 3, I feel comfortable being able to survive all that travel.  You can reason with them now, which is to say, bribe them.

Whilst in Philippines I really did want to return to Amanpulo, not least as I’ve been twice and Lucie has never been, but I simply could not bring myself to go until they refurb.  I love the beach, but since I was last there nearly 9 years ago all they’ve done is added some pools to the rooms.  After staying at many better and newer places, I know exactly what’s going to happen: I’ll arrive, stare at the same teak dilapidated buildings that were already outdated in 2014, and feel betrayed.

Nihi

Everyone goes on about this place like it’s a new weight loss drug. I’ve never loved the look of it, but I’m going in open minded.  They have a few new villas launching, we’ve booked one of them, and I’m prepared to see what the fuss is all about. It’s another pain to get to, having to stay overnight in Bali before flying the next day – but at this point I’ll be numb to it.

Bulgari Bali

Yes, I know. I’ve previously, proudly declared I’ll never return to Bali.  But here we are.  Lucie hasn’t been, and you literally have to go through Bali to get to Nihi. So I figured: might as well stay at another Bulgari and erm research or something.

Raffles Singapore

And then to get home, we’re going via Singapore.  The kids are a bit older now so staying in a city hotel and doing city activities doesn’t feel like punishment.  Which likely means we’re going to Universal Studios, doesn’t it?  We stayed at Raffles Singapore prior to the refurb and wondered WTF everyone was on about with this being some kinda iconic structure.  Iconic in how Stonehendge is completely pointless and also overhyped?  But after a massive refurb, I shall give it another go.  After all, Raffles London isn’t too shabby.

Raffles Sentosa

You know I can’t resist a shiny new opening.  Raffles Sentosa just opened, looks half-decent, and does successfully make me a better human being by being able to write “I’ve stayed there before you did”.  Facts are facts. We’re ending the trip here before the long-haul back to London, probably wondering why we didn’t just go to Tenerife on a RyanAir flight like everyone else.