Where Are We Going Next (Spring/Summer 2026)

As I’ve basically run out of places to go, we’ve reached that stage of travel planning where I’m booking countries I’ve actively mocked for years, revisiting places I swore I was done with, and gambling on hotels that may or may not actually exist by the time we arrive. Can you get Stockholm Syndrome from a hotel?  I guess we’ll find out.

Our daughter is off for eight freaking weeks over Summer. Eight. Weeks. Whilst I’m trying to convince Lucie that the best solution is to leave the country and simply never return, she’s insisting I can kidnap the family for three weeks at the most. Apparently “fake our deaths and relocate to the Serengeti” is “not practical”.

So instead, here’s what’s coming up.

May: Morocco

First up: Tamuda Bay. Royal Mansour know how to throw money at properties, so genuinely looking forward to this one.  Nothing snarky to say.  Ok, just the one thing, in that I’m expecting an absolutely glorious hard product, but it to feel a bit like Costa Navarino – completely soulless.  But it’s a three hour flight from London.  And apparently, they have this thing there called the “sun”.

June: Kenya

I’m then off to Kenya a few days later.  Alone, naturally.  Which means I’ll once again be staying in enormous multi-bedroom safari villas designed for families and groups of friends, whilst sitting there by myself eating biscuits and being forensically analyised by a staff/guest ratio of 50 to 1.  A hard life.

First, Reteti House, which is linked to the Reteti Elephant Sanctuary.  The sanctuary rescues orphaned and abandoned elephant calves across Northern Kenya, many of which would otherwise have no chance of survival.  And now they get to meet me.  Poor bastards.

Then Sirai House, which sits near the glorious Arijiju, one of the most spectacular private houses in Africa.  For those of you that have good memories, I have been to Sirai Beach before.  This is their safari lodge, so I can already tell it’s going to be great and incredibly spread out – large enough that I’ll almost certainly lose track of which wing I left my charger in.  

Then Loirien Mara, one of the more interesting new openings in the Mara.  Just three villas, on a (small) private concession.  And some cool activities as well.  And then finally back to Cottar’s, another property on the Mara.  Pray that I finally get that lion-taking-down-buffalo moment that I’ve dreamed for.

July: Tanzania

I’d love to tell you there’s a whole bunch of logic and necessity behind this trip, but I was really keen to see the Great Migration again.  And erm, that’s it.  I’ve been to Singita Mara River before, but not since their refurb.  And I’ve been to Singita Sasakwa before, but not since I wrote this sentence.  The two actual new properties, which are most intriguing, are Laba Grumeti Art Lodge and Laba Mama Simba.  Laba has come out of nowhere and suddenly are everywhere.  All their properties look like they’re worth checking out – so that’s what I’m gonna do.   Mama Simba is in Arusha, so could be a great alternative to Legendary Lodge for layovers.

July/August: Southern Africa

And yes. Finally. Mauritius.  Why now, you ask? Has something groundbreaking opened? Some new hotel changing the game in the Indian Ocean?  Nope.  We’ve simply reached the bottom of the barrel because all the fancy hotels have the nerve not to have opened on time.

Still, I suppose Four Seasons Anahita has recently reopened after a seven month refurb, and we’re also trying One&Only Le Saint Géran. I then don’t need to rely on the entire internet telling me Mauritius is lousy.  I get to pay for the privilege of knowing it.  Then onwards to Kisawa, which thankfully is not in Mauritius and immediately improves the itinerary by existing.

We’re also returning to Melote House, where I’m going just to prove that there aren’t just impalas there. And cos I love that property.  And then trying the rebuilt Jaci’s Private Camp, in one of their new villas.

August: Panama

And then finally, yes, finally, going to Islas Secas.  The fuel crisis will kick in the day before, ruining all my plans, won’t it?  This property is my curse, the one I talk about going to every year and then somehow not doing it.  Not this time, fate!

September: South Africa

I know I went to South Africa a bazillion times last year, but you know what is better than a bazillion?  A bazillion plus one.  So I’m returning to where it all started with my love of safari: Singita Lebombo.  They closed for a soft refurb earlier this year, so that’s something to look forward to, even if that usually translates into more cushions.  But Singita is the only lodge in the Kruger I can recommend, so it’s the only way you’re getting me there.

And then onto another refurb: Royal Malewane.  They’ve closed for more than just a spring clean and pressure washing the deck, with major upgrades that (hopefully…..but almost certainly) take it to the same standard as their other lodges.

And then to finish: MalaMala Rattray’s Camp and andBeyond Tengile River Lodge, which have merged into some sort of single entity or collection or alliance or blood pact.  Still not sure.  But speaking of blood, that is exactly what I’m here for in Greater Kruger/Sabi Sands: the bloodbath.  Leopards, lions, wild dogs.  Bring it on.

Conclusion

For those of you counting, that’s Africa, Africa, Africa, bit more Africa, and South America.  Apparently we all descended from Africa, so why can’t they just give me a passport already and save me filling in all these visa forms?  Racists.