My favourite properties that no one wants to visit

Okay, that headline isn’t true at all—people do want to go. But hey, it’s 2025, and everything has to sound ridiculously wanky and over-the-top just to keep you from scrolling while you’re taking a dump. Yes, you. I see you.

There are a few places I genuinely love, but convincing anyone to actually go is an uphill battle. Since I started handing out property rankings, only four have ever earned a five-star rating—yet, despite my best efforts and occasional begging, two of them are consistently overlooked.

Velaa

Reason not to go: The rooms. They’re hideous. If I had a nickel for every time someone said that, I could bankroll their next redesign. In reality, they’re not bad—just dark, weirdly laid out, and obsessed with outdoor bathroom space for no apparent reason, while the actual indoor bathroom is the size of a broom closet. On paper, there’s plenty of space, but in reality, it feels all wrong. It’s cost them a lot of business, with too many people taking a look at neighbouring Cheval Blanc Randheli and picking there instead.

Reason to go: Everything else. Really, everything. The facilities are incredible, the list of activities is endless (there’s even a golf course), and the dining is amazing. Fourteen international chefs—want Czech food? A Czech chef makes it. Indian?  An Indian chef.  British?  A hobo coughs it at you.  Ahh, it’s like being at home.  The service is superb, helped by an owner that pays for the best. The island is naturally beautiful, the kids’ club is fantastic, and in every other way, it’s just exceptional.

I get it—I used to judge places purely on the rooms too. And sure, the design choices at Velaa are questionable, with that question being “why? dear god, why?!”  I’m not here to say I don’t want them to improve it – they definitely should –  but the room is just a part of why you would want to come here.  Almost everyone who goes ends up loving it. When we see clients try both Velaa and Cheval Blanc, the majority end up picking Velaa again. The rooms are a letdown, but everything else more than makes up for it.

Ol Jogi

Reason not to go: Too damn expensive. And having furniture so ugly that Nosferatu sitting on it makes it prettier doesn’t exactly help. The competition is simply better priced. The biggest draw of an exclusive-use property is how well it scales. Take Arijiju—10 people, around $24,000 per night. That’s $2,400 per person, if my maths is right.  That’s less than what you’d pay at many top-tier safari lodges, except here, you’re the only guests with complete freedom, in one of the finest properties in Africa. Now, take 10 people at Ol Jogi—you’ll need a calculator to figure out their complicates rates, but you’ll eventually get to around $40,000 per night. And they’re talking about hiking rates by another 12% next year.

Reason to go: The place is bonkers—completely, batshit crazy insane—but in the best possible way. The wildlife encounters are among the most unique you’ll ever experience. Yes, it’s ugly as hell, but it’s also ridiculously impressive, and I still think back on my time there with nothing but fondness.

Kubili House deserves an honorable mention here too. I absolutely love it, but it’s nearly twice the price of Arijiju and sits in a shared conservancy—unlike Arijiju, which is entirely private. It’s a tough sell.

Seychelles

Yes, the entire country.  And yes, it’s not a property.  And yes I said two places above, but Christmas is only 337 days away, so here’s a present.

Reason not to go: The luxury options are seriously lacking. North Island moving to Marriott, and Fregate currently shut down for a five-year rebuild. Right now, the only property I genuinely love is La Cigale—but with 9 bedrooms in an exclusive-use setup, it’s hardly the ideal choice for honeymooners. Seychelles needs more, and for now, it’s slim pickings.

Reason to go: While the Maldives may have all the best resorts, the Seychelles has all the beauty. The islands, the beaches, the wildlife, the oceans—nothing else compares. But it needs more, and thankfully, your wishes are coming true. First up, let’s see if Cheval Blanc lives up to the hype train. Then there’s Fregate, set to reopen in 2026, and that’s just the beginning. Give it a few years, and you’ll probably look back at this, laughing at the idea that no one wanted to come here. In fact, if it’s 2028 and you’re reading this, there’s a 97% chance you’re already in the Seychelles—because by then, it’ll be so good the entire planet will move there.