News & Reviews Caribbean Caribbean Trip 2023 Part II

Before my previous and first-ever trip to the Caribbean, I asked:

How bad can it be?

And then visited Necker Island and Moskito Island and got the answer I wasn’t looking for.  So, not even one hundred days later, I figured I would return for round two because the definition of insanity is hearing that quote over and over again and then quoting it to other people.

Here’s a quote: “Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. Then the worms eat you. Be grateful if it happens in that order”. Enjoy your day, hugs and kisses.

Next week we set sail to Turks and Caicos.  We’re flying, but it’s on BA, so it will feel as luxurious as sailing on the Mary Rose.  Worse, it’s their old business class configuration (no matter how much I refresh in the hope there’s a plane swap), the one where it’s staggered seating, with about 93 people per row, and you have to death stare into the soul of your seatmate to gain respect, like prison rules.  It doesn’t even fly direct – we first land in the Bahamas and stay on board.   It’s eleven hours of screaming, crying and then whatever it is my children are also doing.  That might not sound long, but it’s enough for a nuclear-armed country to be taken over by mercenaries, all because they just desperately wanted a holiday in Belarus.

Inexplicably, I am going with more faith this time.  The big brands came through previously, as Rosewood’s Little Dix Bay was the highlight of the trip, and Oetker’s Jumby Bay wasn’t too shabby either.  They have confirmed that to succeed in the Caribbean, you must have two things going for you: not owned by Richard Branson and have Bay in your name.  Maybe there’s some fluidity in that latter rule, and rhyming is allowed, as Parrot Cay is close enough.  Then there’s Amanyara, which has zero Branson’s but one Aman.

Both properties have been on my list for a long time, although I’ve never been entirely convinced.  Parrot Cay, because the accommodation looks twenty years out of date, whilst, at Amanyara, my bank account lacks a few zeroes to justify one of their beachfront villas.  Yet a good friend is celebrating his birthday, and I’ve been tricked into going.  My saving grace is 1) I have an actual friend and 2) We are staying in one of the new two-bedroom beach houses at Parrot Cay, and 3) There are actual, real kids clubs with real schedules and actual things to do.  Besides, the nanny can’t be worse than the two in BVI.

I set a rule to avoid going places off-peak a few years ago – it seemed pointless to save a bit of money to get terrible weather.  The only exception is Europe, as that should absolutely be avoided during peak – go in May or September.  In Turks, the weather is mostly great all year round.  It looks great with 30C and clear skies, but the humidity is 80%.  Yummy.  The things we do for our friends.  Wish me luck.

As always, reviews will be coming, Instagram will be regularly updated, and you can contact me with any questions.

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Tom Cahalan

Written by Tom Cahalan on 30th Jun '23

Dorsia Travel’s co-founder Tom Cahalan’s take on travel is reliably candid. Here’s his take on what’s good, bad, and luxurious.

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