Caribbean Trip 2023 Part II

Before my previous and first-ever trip to the Caribbean, I asked:

How bad can it be?

And then visited Necker Island and Moskito Island and got the answer I wasn’t looking for.  So, not even one hundred days later, I figured I would return for round two because the definition of insanity is hearing that quote over and over again and then quoting it to other people.

Here’s a quote: “Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. Then the worms eat you. Be grateful if it happens in that order”. Enjoy your day, hugs and kisses.

Next week we set sail to Turks and Caicos.  We’re flying, but it’s on BA, so it will feel as luxurious as sailing on the Mary Rose.  Worse, it’s their old business class configuration (no matter how much I refresh in the hope there’s a plane swap), the one where it’s staggered seating, with about 93 people per row, and you have to death stare into the soul of your seatmate to gain respect, like prison rules.  It doesn’t even fly direct – we first land in the Bahamas and stay on board.   It’s eleven hours of screaming, crying and then whatever it is my children are also doing.  That might not sound long, but it’s enough for a nuclear-armed country to be taken over by mercenaries, all because they just desperately wanted a holiday in Belarus.

Inexplicably, I am going with more faith this time.  The big brands came through previously, as Rosewood’s Little Dix Bay was the highlight of the trip, and Oetker’s Jumby Bay wasn’t too shabby either.  They have confirmed that to succeed in the Caribbean, you must have two things going for you: not owned by Richard Branson and have Bay in your name.  Maybe there’s some fluidity in that latter rule, and rhyming is allowed, as Parrot Cay is close enough.  Then there’s Amanyara, which has zero Branson’s but one Aman.

Both properties have been on my list for a long time, although I’ve never been entirely convinced.  Parrot Cay, because the accommodation looks twenty years out of date, whilst, at Amanyara, my bank account lacks a few zeroes to justify one of their beachfront villas.  Yet a good friend is celebrating his birthday, and I’ve been tricked into going.  My saving grace is 1) I have an actual friend and 2) We are staying in one of the new two-bedroom beach houses at Parrot Cay, and 3) There are actual, real kids clubs with real schedules and actual things to do.  Besides, the nanny can’t be worse than the two in BVI.

I set a rule to avoid going places off-peak a few years ago – it seemed pointless to save a bit of money to get terrible weather.  The only exception is Europe, as that should absolutely be avoided during peak – go in May or September.  In Turks, the weather is mostly great all year round.  It looks great with 30C and clear skies, but the humidity is 80%.  Yummy.  The things we do for our friends.  Wish me luck.

As always, reviews will be coming, Instagram will be regularly updated, and you can contact me with any questions.

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3 Responses

  1. Hao absolutely loves Parrot Cay, so how bad can it be? Perhaps there will be a shidduch between Beckett and one of the girls.

  2. If you want an adventure from Parrot Cay, jump over to North Caicos and drive to Mudjin Harbor. It’s a spectacular place. Wife and I stayed in a cottage above the bay a decade ago. We’ll never forget that spot.

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  • Hotel Il Pellicano a Leading Hotel of the World. And let me tell you how it’s a leader in many areas, like incompetence. My review is live @hotelilpellicano
  • A few months after opening (with Dorsia clients being their first ever guests) I decided to check out Bulgari Rome. Fortunately, they have moved away from the copy/paste formula of Milan to London to Paris and created something much more…Italian. Unfortunately that means I can’t copy/paste my Paris write-up. The review will be out next Friday. @bulgarihotels
  • As upgrades go, this four-bedroom ocean villa @amanyara_resort we stayed in last week was certainly one of my better ones. I was ill and passed out for most of the stay, so will have to go back again to truly experience it. Five bedroom next time, please and thank you.
  • With our upcoming trip to Turks and Caicos, I’m reminded how bad I am at this Instagram malarkey.  I’ve not even posted of our last trip to the Caribbean, from March, so with all the enthusiasm of someone sat on the electric chair here’s @jumbybayresort
  • Little Dix might sound like a sub-genre on Pornhub but it’s actually a beautiful resort in the British Virgin Islands. You learn something new every day.
  • If you ignore the service, food and anything at all related to the humans, Necker Island is a majestic place worth visiting.
  • With three hot tubs on the Branson Estate on Moskito Island, it’s really helped turn my two year old into a well rounded individual who now expects it as a minimum.
  • It’s a lion eat lion world @lengishu.house
  • Describing @oljogi is tough. It’s 50% incredible and 51% insane. You can’t argue with maths.
Hotel Il Pellicano a Leading Hotel of the World. And let me tell you how it’s a leader in many areas, like incompetence. My review is live @hotelilpellicano
Hotel Il Pellicano a Leading Hotel of the World. And let me tell you how it’s a leader in many areas, like incompetence. My review is live @hotelilpellicano
Hotel Il Pellicano a Leading Hotel of the World. And let me tell you how it’s a leader in many areas, like incompetence. My review is live @hotelilpellicano
Hotel Il Pellicano a Leading Hotel of the World. And let me tell you how it’s a leader in many areas, like incompetence. My review is live @hotelilpellicano
Hotel Il Pellicano a Leading Hotel of the World. And let me tell you how it’s a leader in many areas, like incompetence. My review is live @hotelilpellicano
Hotel Il Pellicano a Leading Hotel of the World. And let me tell you how it’s a leader in many areas, like incompetence. My review is live @hotelilpellicano
Hotel Il Pellicano a Leading Hotel of the World. And let me tell you how it’s a leader in many areas, like incompetence. My review is live @hotelilpellicano
Hotel Il Pellicano a Leading Hotel of the World. And let me tell you how it’s a leader in many areas, like incompetence. My review is live @hotelilpellicano
Hotel Il Pellicano a Leading Hotel of the World. And let me tell you how it’s a leader in many areas, like incompetence. My review is live @hotelilpellicano
Hotel Il Pellicano a Leading Hotel of the World. And let me tell you how it’s a leader in many areas, like incompetence. My review is live @hotelilpellicano
2 days ago
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1/9
A few months after opening (with Dorsia clients being their first ever guests) I decided to check out Bulgari Rome. Fortunately, they have moved away from the copy/paste formula of Milan to London to Paris and created something much more…Italian. Unfortunately that means I can’t copy/paste my Paris write-up. The review will be out next Friday. @bulgarihotels
A few months after opening (with Dorsia clients being their first ever guests) I decided to check out Bulgari Rome. Fortunately, they have moved away from the copy/paste formula of Milan to London to Paris and created something much more…Italian. Unfortunately that means I can’t copy/paste my Paris write-up. The review will be out next Friday. @bulgarihotels
A few months after opening (with Dorsia clients being their first ever guests) I decided to check out Bulgari Rome. Fortunately, they have moved away from the copy/paste formula of Milan to London to Paris and created something much more…Italian. Unfortunately that means I can’t copy/paste my Paris write-up. The review will be out next Friday. @bulgarihotels
A few months after opening (with Dorsia clients being their first ever guests) I decided to check out Bulgari Rome. Fortunately, they have moved away from the copy/paste formula of Milan to London to Paris and created something much more…Italian. Unfortunately that means I can’t copy/paste my Paris write-up. The review will be out next Friday. @bulgarihotels
A few months after opening (with Dorsia clients being their first ever guests) I decided to check out Bulgari Rome. Fortunately, they have moved away from the copy/paste formula of Milan to London to Paris and created something much more…Italian. Unfortunately that means I can’t copy/paste my Paris write-up. The review will be out next Friday. @bulgarihotels
A few months after opening (with Dorsia clients being their first ever guests) I decided to check out Bulgari Rome. Fortunately, they have moved away from the copy/paste formula of Milan to London to Paris and created something much more…Italian. Unfortunately that means I can’t copy/paste my Paris write-up. The review will be out next Friday. @bulgarihotels
A few months after opening (with Dorsia clients being their first ever guests) I decided to check out Bulgari Rome. Fortunately, they have moved away from the copy/paste formula of Milan to London to Paris and created something much more…Italian. Unfortunately that means I can’t copy/paste my Paris write-up. The review will be out next Friday. @bulgarihotels
A few months after opening (with Dorsia clients being their first ever guests) I decided to check out Bulgari Rome. Fortunately, they have moved away from the copy/paste formula of Milan to London to Paris and created something much more…Italian. Unfortunately that means I can’t copy/paste my Paris write-up. The review will be out next Friday. @bulgarihotels
A few months after opening (with Dorsia clients being their first ever guests) I decided to check out Bulgari Rome. Fortunately, they have moved away from the copy/paste formula of Milan to London to Paris and created something much more…Italian. Unfortunately that means I can’t copy/paste my Paris write-up. The review will be out next Friday. @bulgarihotels
A few months after opening (with Dorsia clients being their first ever guests) I decided to check out Bulgari Rome. Fortunately, they have moved away from the copy/paste formula of Milan to London to Paris and created something much more…Italian. Unfortunately that means I can’t copy/paste my Paris write-up. The review will be out next Friday. @bulgarihotels
A few months after opening (with Dorsia clients being their first ever guests) I decided to check out Bulgari Rome. Fortunately, they have moved away from the copy/paste formula of Milan to London to Paris and created something much more…Italian. Unfortunately that means I can’t copy/paste my Paris write-up. The review will be out next Friday. @bulgarihotels
2 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
2/9
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As upgrades go, this four-bedroom ocean villa @amanyara_resort we stayed in last week was certainly one of my better ones. I was ill and passed out for most of the stay, so will have to go back again to truly experience it. Five bedroom next time, please and thank you.
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3 months ago
View on Instagram |
3/9
With our upcoming trip to Turks and Caicos, I’m reminded how bad I am at this Instagram malarkey.  I’ve not even posted of our last trip to the Caribbean, from March, so with all the enthusiasm of someone sat on the electric chair here’s @jumbybayresort
With our upcoming trip to Turks and Caicos, I’m reminded how bad I am at this Instagram malarkey. I’ve not even posted of our last trip to the Caribbean, from March, so with all the enthusiasm of someone sat on the electric chair here’s @jumbybayresort
3 months ago
View on Instagram |
4/9
Little Dix might sound like a sub-genre on Pornhub but it’s actually a beautiful resort in the British Virgin Islands. You learn something new every day.
Little Dix might sound like a sub-genre on Pornhub but it’s actually a beautiful resort in the British Virgin Islands. You learn something new every day.
Little Dix might sound like a sub-genre on Pornhub but it’s actually a beautiful resort in the British Virgin Islands. You learn something new every day.
Little Dix might sound like a sub-genre on Pornhub but it’s actually a beautiful resort in the British Virgin Islands. You learn something new every day.
5 months ago
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5/9
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If you ignore the service, food and anything at all related to the humans, Necker Island is a majestic place worth visiting.
If you ignore the service, food and anything at all related to the humans, Necker Island is a majestic place worth visiting.
If you ignore the service, food and anything at all related to the humans, Necker Island is a majestic place worth visiting.
If you ignore the service, food and anything at all related to the humans, Necker Island is a majestic place worth visiting.
If you ignore the service, food and anything at all related to the humans, Necker Island is a majestic place worth visiting.
If you ignore the service, food and anything at all related to the humans, Necker Island is a majestic place worth visiting.
If you ignore the service, food and anything at all related to the humans, Necker Island is a majestic place worth visiting.
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With three hot tubs on the Branson Estate on Moskito Island, it’s really helped turn my two year old into a well rounded individual who now expects it as a minimum.
With three hot tubs on the Branson Estate on Moskito Island, it’s really helped turn my two year old into a well rounded individual who now expects it as a minimum.
With three hot tubs on the Branson Estate on Moskito Island, it’s really helped turn my two year old into a well rounded individual who now expects it as a minimum.
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5 months ago
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7/9
It’s a lion eat lion world @lengishu.house
It’s a lion eat lion world @lengishu.house
It’s a lion eat lion world @lengishu.house
It’s a lion eat lion world @lengishu.house
It’s a lion eat lion world @lengishu.house
It’s a lion eat lion world @lengishu.house
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8/9
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Describing @oljogi is tough. It’s 50% incredible and 51% insane. You can’t argue with maths.
Describing @oljogi is tough. It’s 50% incredible and 51% insane. You can’t argue with maths.
Describing @oljogi is tough. It’s 50% incredible and 51% insane. You can’t argue with maths.
Describing @oljogi is tough. It’s 50% incredible and 51% insane. You can’t argue with maths.
Describing @oljogi is tough. It’s 50% incredible and 51% insane. You can’t argue with maths.
Describing @oljogi is tough. It’s 50% incredible and 51% insane. You can’t argue with maths.
Describing @oljogi is tough. It’s 50% incredible and 51% insane. You can’t argue with maths.
Describing @oljogi is tough. It’s 50% incredible and 51% insane. You can’t argue with maths.
Describing @oljogi is tough. It’s 50% incredible and 51% insane. You can’t argue with maths.
7 months ago
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9/9

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